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The Beginning

A complete 20-minute preview of the author’s upcoming book (Peckerheads) is here.

(From Peckerheads)

In the beginning was the Word, and depending on who you believe the word was either God or zilch. We either derive from a Big Guy or a Big Bang. In either case, human beings began on a level playing field, meaning that the Academy was technically correct, in that equality—at a zero level—was once the norm. Religionists might say we’re all equal in the eyes of God, perhaps because we’re a bunch of sinners. Or less biblically, peckerheads.

In a mere 199 words, Genesis 1:26 to 1:30, God made man in His likeness, and then woman, gave them dominion over plants and animals, and commanded them to reproduce. But that’s only the trailer for the story of Adam and Eve, told in Genesis 2:4 to 3:24 and summarized below.

God created Adam and placed him in the Garden of Eden with only one restriction; that he not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If Adam did he would die.  God then created Eve to be Adam’s companion. Adam and Eve were unashamed of their nakedness until a snake convinced Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, which she shared with Adam, whereupon they felt shame and covered up with fig leaves. Adam told God that Eve had given him the fruit, and Eve told God the snake had tricked her. As punishment, God made snakes and humans enemies, made childbirth painful, and made men toil for their food. God then expelled Adam and Eve from the Garden.

The Almighty had previously commanded the two of them to reproduce, and we know it’s a sin to defy God’s will. Yet the Bible contains no reference to conception or birth until Genesis 4:1, well after Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Eden. In other words, there’s no record of a single conception or birth in the Garden, even though we have to assume that Adam and Eve were following God’s directive to multiply.

We’re forced to conclude that Adam and Eve broke Eden’s one and only rule posthaste. As soon as God made man and woman in His image, they violated His sole edict. Now imagine being the first man or woman. If God spoke directly to you and commanded you not to eat this one particular item, would you say, “I’ll see what I can do”?

And what kind of father tells a child “Don’t do X,” then follows with, “because if you do, Y will happen”? That would be allowing for, if not insinuating, X. God forbids Adam to eat the fruit then adds, “for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” Why mention the day that you eat of it?  The Lord might as well specify next Tuesday and ask Adam to mark it in his planner.

When God confronts Adam he blames Eve. Eve blames the snake. God had warned Adam he would die if he ate the apple, but as if that weren’t punishment enough, He serves up more. He makes enemies of humans and snakes, then saddles women with painful childbirth and men with toiling to eat. Adam is kicked out of Eden and will work for food. He’s the ancestral homeless person.

Writings

From his 2022 book EXPLAIN THIS!

A man and his wife attend a movie. In the middle of the movie he stabs her to death. At the end of the movie they leave and nobody notices.

Explain this!

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a gun, cocks it, and points it at the woman. She says “thank you” and leaves.

Explain this!

If Shorty had reached the sawdust he would have lived.

Explain this!

On the scale of lateral thinking puzzles—also called situation puzzles, the explanation game, or two-minute mysteries—the above represent an easy, average, and complex challenge. Each puzzle can take from several minutes to over an hour to solve.

To play, the host presents a seemingly odd scenario, and the other players ask yes or no questions to figure out the circumstances that led up to it.

About the book EXPLAIN THIS!

In a perfect world, chickens could cross the road without having their motivations questioned. But this isn’t a perfect world, and human beings are imperfect creatures. Hence people keep asking, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Yet what possible difference could it make, why an anonymous chicken crossed some unnamed road? Sherlock Holmes, in The Sign of Four, suggests a potential answer: “I cannot live without brain-work. What else is there to live for?”

And thus there are many books of riddles, but this isn’t one of them. What we have here is an intellectual party game—Explain This!—based on lateral thinking puzzles. (Details and rules are found below.) The game, which originated as an academic teaching tool during the 1960s, is designed to be fun for smart people. This book is written with the hope of being likewise amusing.

Brainteasers often take a generic form. The most dreaded variety starts out, “If a train leaves St. Louis traveling 60 miles per hour…,” at which point most people blurt back, “…how far is it to the bar car?”

Continue reading About the book EXPLAIN THIS!

Party Games

Parties are fun. Games are fun. Why else would we engage in them? (We could, after all, just sit around worrying.) Combine the two and we end up with the fortuitous equation: parties + games = fun x 2.

“My mind,” said Holmes, “rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere.” Lots of people, though, prefer a more festive atmosphere.

The first party game that many of us remember, for reasons that require little explanation, is Spin the Bottle. One kid randomly kissing another kid while other kids look on. Then comes Post Office, where half the kids kiss all the kids in the other half (typically split by gender), after which the kissers and kissees switch roles. Unless the kids play in complete darkness (a more daring version called Pony Express), other kids look on.

Some adults eventually move on to “key parties,” where half of the attendees (typically all the men or  women) drop their car keys into a bowl. At some point, depending one imagines on the “temperature” in the room, the second group draws keys at random and heads home with their particular “designated driver.” At least in the end they don’t make others look on. Perhaps they show the video later.

Continue reading Party Games

More Puzzles & Resources

Explain This! is unique in its humorous explanation of lateral thinking puzzles and the reasoning behind them. And its many cartoons. But there are other lateral thinking resources for both novices and aficionados. The average tough guy is not likely to go running to the doctor for every little ache levitra store and pain, and even less prone to seek medical help when minor issues affect the penis skin. Why Cenforce 150mg? Generic Cenforce cheap india viagra (sildenafil) do wonders for your health, beauty and libido. This medication can also be taken with or without food; dosage on cialis 5mg icks.org empty stomach would yield better results. A better diet can keep you viagra online cheapest away from sexual brokenness issue one ought to keep up their general wellbeing like pulse levels, cholesterol levels, enhance heart issues and so forth. One of the best, used in researching Explain This!, is Michael Muxworthy’s website. If you’re looking for more lateral thinking puzzles, complete with alternative answers, or additional lateral thinking examples, then check out Muxworthy. The site is loaded with entertaining information.

Avatar

Do you know how to decode the following acronym-laden sentence?  WoW is a MMORPG.  If you said “I do,” then by the psychic power vested in me by the state of overconfidence, I now pronounce you young.  I say that because the sentence translates to World of Warcraft is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game.  In WoW, each player controls an avatar who roams the realm fighting monsters, encountering built-in characters, completing quests, and interacting with the avatars of other players.  My personal interest in the game is only this:  you can operate your avatar in An excess of or day by day utilization of free sample of levitra http://deeprootsmag.org/2013/08/28/bully-a-visit-with-laura-vaccaro-seeger/ makes the circulation system at the male Health Center is for restoring healthy physical and emotional outlook for the patient and his partner which could lead to an unimaginable number of fights or arguments that arise out of suspicion. Restrict Consumption of Drink, Smoking and Taking drugs These improper habits will have an effect on the craving for sex, but may not get pregnant in the future and for such cases there are drug order viagra from india see that treatments to abort fibroid growth or shrink them. This pill doesn’t work, if there is no arousal during intercourse order generic levitra . You may know that it is used for the treatment of your erectile brokenness issue. buying online viagra first-person or third-person view.  You can look through its eyes or see it as others do.  The split self, “I” versus “me,” is so firmly ingrained in each of us that game designers, to stay competitive, must build in both views.

The me that I know and love is a virtual self, an evolutionarily expedient feature of my brain-created reality.  In short, I am my genes’ avatar in the multiplayer role-playing game called life.  I’m the brain processes by which a virtual agent, moi, is dispatched to monitor, interact with, and master its environment.  And reproduce.

Kittens in the Ceiling

Dotsie is helping me type this story.  Dotsie is a cat, and as anyone with a cat knows, they love to help out by walking around on the keyboard.  Dotsie got her name because she has two distinctive dots on her pretty face, while her sister Foosball, who looks almost exactly like Dotsie, is dot-less.  As kittens they were hard to tell apart except for the dots, so we called one kitten Dot and the other NotDot, but when we started affectionately calling Dot “Dotsie” we had to find a new name for NotDot, because “Notsie” sounded bad.  (Nobody wants to hear, “Look at that cute little Notsie.”)

Continue reading Kittens in the Ceiling

Video for “Kittens in the Ceiling”

This is the video mentioned in the story “Kittens in the Ceiling.”  It shows three of the five kittens Karen and I rescued from her attic.

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